Undercover Valentines
by JenJo
Summary: In order to spend the day together, Tony goes undercover as Loki's henchman at a criminals of the world meeting. How long can Tony keep up the charade? Probably not very.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. Or anything, really.  
****A/N: This story takes place about a year after the events of Avengers, and Phase 2 hasn't happened. Everyone lives in the Tower, and Loki pops in from time to time.**

* * *

It's a typical Friday evening in Avengers Tower. Doctor Banner is on his floor, reading scientific journals. Steve's out volunteering somewhere, and Thor was off planet. This left Natasha &amp; Clint alone on the communal floor, sitting in front of the television. In what had become a routine for the pair, they would watch any and all interviews given by any member of the team, making comments and observations. Tonight's victim: Tony Stark.

Armed with their favoured drinks and snacks, the pair settled in, ready to analyse their teammate's performance. As the show's opening music filled the room, Loki appeared in front of the television, smoking slightly at the arms.

"Move!" was the one word from Natasha. Loki looked at the television behind him, before raising an eyebrow.

"If you're going to stay, sit down, away from the screen. Otherwise, move," Clint added. Loki moved to sit moved out of the pair's vision, taking a seat in front of the television.

_"And welcome to today's show. Today's very special guest is Mr. Tony Stark! Mr. Stark, welcome."_

_"Thank you for having me. And please, Tony is fine." _

"That smile is fake."

"Did you expect it to be real?"

_"Now, I have to ask you: Since the Battle of New York, the Avengers have gone from strength to strength, saving this planet over and over again. What is it like, to be a part of a team?"_

_"Well, just between you and me? It's actually not that bad."_

_"Really? No problems? No tension?"_

_"Did I say that? Sure, there's tension. Put any group of adults in a small space, and there's gonna be tension. But, nothing that we can't handle."_

_"So you and your team are just as stable off the battle field as you are on it?"_

_"We sure are."_

"His tone, he really is laying it on."

"He doesn't believe it."

"Not at all."

_"Well, I hope you all stay tuned, cause I'll have more after the break."_

"He may not believe it, but she certainly believes him." Loki muttered, while putting out the smoke on his arms.

The pair of assassin's looked at the god.

"What?"

Loki gestured to the screen, "That woman, she believes every word coming out of Stark's mouth. I believe that she is attempting to gain entry to Stark's bed."

Natasha raised her eyebrow. "That's not exactly uncommon. Most people want something from Stark."

"This is true, but the way that she was sitting, the way that her eyes followed his every move. All of this points to one goal from her perspective."

"And Stark?"

"What about him?"

"Is he interested in her?"

"Ah," Loki thought for a moment. "I do not believe that he is interested in her."

"And what tells you that?" Clint asked.

_Because if he was, he wouldn't be sleeping in his bed tonight. _Instead of voicing his thoughts, Loki gestured back to the television. "The program is about to resume."

"How can you-" Clint began, before the music indicating the return of the show started, causing Natasha to shush him.

_"And welcome back everyone. Tony Stark is still here with me. Now Tony, you haven't been seen around with anyone recently. Tomorrow is Valentines Day. So, the question on all of our lips: is notorious playboy Tony Stark going to be alone on Valentine's Day?"_

_[Laughing]_

"That's a fake laugh."

"Clearly."

_"Well, my dear. I can assure you that I will not be alone tomorrow."_

_"Is Tony Stark in a relationship?"_

_"I suppose it could be termed that way."_

"Termed that way?" Loki echoed. _What other term is there?_

"What does that even mean?"

"He doesn't normally talk like that."

_"What do you mean by that, Tony?"_

_"Ah, let's just say... yes, I am taken. And no, you do not know this person."_

"The Stark smirk."

"The Stark smirk?" Loki echoed. Natasha nodded.

"The Stark smirk. It's a guarantee that he's hiding something."

"That is worth remembering," Loki muttered.

_"Unfortunately, that's all that we have time for today. Tony Stark, thank you for being on today's show."_

_"It's been my pleasure."_

As the television went to commercial, Clint turned off the television."

"He derived no pleasure from that interview," Loki mentioned. Clint snorted.

"No shit. He hates the gossip programs."

"So why does he appear on them?"

"It's part of business," Natasha explained. "He puts in some appearances, his company sells more stuff."

"Ah, I see."

"JARVIS, how far away is Tony?"

_"Sir is in the elevator as we speak, Agent Romanoff."_

"That was quick," Loki said.

"The interview was held on one of the lower levels," Natasha replied. "Stark prefers it that way."

"He just prefers to remind everyone how rich he is," Clint added. Any further replies were stopped by the opening of the elevator.

"A welcoming committee? For little old me?" Tony smiled as he walked into the entertainment room. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Tony was met with three pairs of probing eyes. "What?"

Natasha stood up, standing eye to eye with Tony. "Who is she?"

"She?" Tony echoed.

"Don't play coy Stark. You weren't lying to that woman; you are seeing someone. Who is she?"

Tony held Natasha's gaze. "I can honestly say that there is no woman."

The pair stared at each other, unblinking, until Natasha nodded. "He's telling the truth."

"What?" Clint stood up, looking between the two. "How could he be telling the truth on the television, but not here?"

Natasha turned to him. "Think about it for a second, Clint."

"Wait, you're not saying..." Clint turned to Tony, whose face was impassive. "A man?"

Tony smirked, before walking away silently.

"Seriously? The one time you're silent is the one time I want you to talk?"

Tony entered the elevator, and gave a small wave before the doors closed.

"That man is a nightmare," Clint groaned, sinking into the couch. Natasha sat beside him, before turning to Loki. Loki merely raised an eyebrow at her.

"You're being awfully quiet."

"I have nothing to contribute to the conversation."

Clint sat up, looking at Loki. "You know."

"Excuse me?"

"You do know something! Who is Stark sleeping with?"

Loki stood up, smoothing out his armour. "I have nothing to contribute to this conversation," he said, before disappearing in a flourish of green smoke.

"He knows something," Clint muttered, throwing his head back on the couch. Natasha patted his knee. "What?"

"What's wrong Clint?"

Clint rolled his head, looking at Natasha. "You are treating me like a child. You know something."

Natasha rubbed his shoulder. "I am not treating you like a child."

"Am I the only one who doesn't know who Stark's sleeping with?"

Natasha gave a small smile in reply. "Possibly."

* * *

"What is Valentines Day?"

The sudden voice made Tony drop his glass, which was thankfully empty. It still smashed on the ground.

"Loki, seriously. Stop doing that." Tony turned to look at Loki, who stood there with an amused expression on his face. He had removed his armour, now standing in a pair of jeans and a black top.

"But it is so much fun."

"Not so much fun for my glasses."

Loki waved at the glass, causing it to re-form in his hand, filled with fresh alcohol.

"Am I forgiven?"

Tony walked over to Loki, wrapping his arms around the god. "Maybe."

Before Tony could kiss him, Loki pressed a finger to the man's lips. "Before that, my question remains unanswered."

"Huh?"

"What is Valentines Day?"

"You don't have Valentines Day in god-land?"

"Would I ask if I knew what it was?"

Tony sighed, resting his head on Loki's chest. "It's a day where people in relationships exchange gifts and spend time together. If you want the full history, I'm sure that JARVIS can help you later."

Loki thought about this information. He teleported the alcohol onto the nearest table, using his hands to embrace his mortal.

"Are you expecting to spend the day with me?"

Tony looked up into green eyes. "What, you busy tomorrow?"

Loki shrugged. "Somewhat."

"Somewhat?"

"I am committed to a meeting."

"Who would you be having a meeting with."

"You are aware that I have many contacts on the opposite side of the law, who I maintain ties with."

"Of course, you tell me all the time."

"Well, there is a meeting tomorrow."

Tony hummed in thought, wrapped in the god's embrace. "How about if I come with you?"

Loki pulled back, and gave Tony an incredulous look. "Pardon?"

Tony smiled wide. "I'll come with you! In disguise, of course. I won't ruin any of your plans. I'll just be there. Like-"

"Like my slave?" Loki raised an eyebrow; Tony's smile dropped a little.

"Well, I was thinking more like a henchman , but the idea's the same."

"And you believe that you could stay silent for an extended period of time?"

"Of course!"

Loki gave him a look.

"Look, I'm willing to try. And, when was the last time that we were able to spend the entire day together?" Tony asked, running a hand up Loki's arm.

"Last Saturday," Loki replied.

"That doesn't count. We weren't alone." Tony wrapped his arms around Loki, looking up into his eyes. "Please?"

Loki sighed, looking down and wrapping his arms around Tony. "I assume that this counts as a suitable present for this Valentine's day?"

Tony smiled, before kissing Loki. "Absolutely."

* * *

_Writers block + should be reading for Uni= new fic. Just in time for Valentine's day. This will get exciting and adventure-y in future chapters.  
Thank you for reading. _


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